The 10 Best Directors in Hollywood

>> Tuesday, January 19, 2010

(This is a guest post by Ben Shapiro, the esteemed author of, among other things, "The Top 5 Conservative Characters on the First Episode of The Wire.")

This is for all those people who read my list of the most overrated directors and demanded to know who my ten favorite directors were. Here they are:

8. David Zucker wrote and directed An American Carol, which made fun of Michael Moore.

7. The movie United 93, because the truth is that the story itself is conservative. Americans didn’t apologize for foreign entanglements or the American way of life on Flight 93—they just rolled. The movie is almost a documentary, so it might as well have directed itself.

6. Michael Bay is hated by snobs who hate fun, but The Island hated on stem cell research and that makes him a great director.

5. Ramón Menéndez, whose direction of Stand and Deliver proves the same thing the film does: not all Mexicans are worthless.

4. The guy who directed Taken, the film that proves that the French approach is never the correct approach because the French always suck.

3. Despite later directing a film about rap, which is crap, Curtis Hanson also directed L.A. Confidential, which teaches us not to worry about Miranda because the ends always justify the means.

2. George P. Cosmatos pretended to direct films like Tombstone and Rambo: First Blood Part II, both of which brilliantly depict morally unambiguous worlds in which the good guys always were white and the enemy is always appropriately caricatured.

1. John Milius, the genius behind Red Dawn, is a cinematic genius because his work appeals to my ideological preconceptions and is genius. Just look at that picture? How could he not be a genius?


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