"We want to her to be a really powerful female character, you know, a role model for young women. What you got?"

"I think you're gonna love her, sir. Check her out."

"I like what I see there, Ferguson, but she doesn't really seem powerful. She needs—"

"A more muscular physique?"

"Don't talk crazy, Ferguson. She has to be sexy."

"So you need her to be more powerful, but also still sexy?"

"Why don't you give her one of those things?"

"What things?"

"You know ... one of those things."

"I don't follow."

"Sure you do. One of those things."

"I think I feel you now. You mean like this?"

"Perfect! Still sexy, but now that she has a thing, she's powerful too. Great work, Ferguson!"

Because, as we all know, female characters can't be powerful unless they have a thing, as the good folks at Detective Comics took pains to remind us this month:

Unlike the other example above, her thing isn't even a psychoanalytic surrogate for a thing and its thingly power. Her thing is shaped like a thing and is used for stabbing. I have nothing more to add but this: please stop publishing comics that make me think of Lacan.

(By the by, I'm still getting acclimated to posting here, so I didn't realize that all my comic posts should appear here too. I learn something new every day.)