Donovan 1, Cole 0 and Other Random Soccer Observations

I want to preface this by asserting that I don't revel in sporting injuries, even if they're players that I loathe. As a result of what the BBC characterizes as a "mundane-looking and perfectly legitimate challenge" by Landon Donovan in Everton's 2-1 victory over Chelsea at Goodison Park on Wednesday, Ashley Cole was forced to limp off the field in what has since been diagnosed as a broken ankle (which came to my attention over at Prost Amerika). I have loathed Cole since he lamely forced a transfer from Arsenal to Chelsea in 2006.

Cole is out for three months, and while it's not impossible for him to make England's World Cup 23, will not be at 100% match fitness even if he does make the squad.

There are a couple delightful ironies here. First, it's Donovan, the USA's best player, taking out a dead cert member of the England starting XI in the run in to their opening group match in South Africa.

More ironic is that Cole's likely replacement in the starting XI is Man City's Wayne Bridge. Meaning, Bridge would play alongside John Terry in the England back four. I'm only going to treat this briefly for those LGM readers who do not follow soccer (and care even less about who is shagging whom), but there was a spot of bother over the last couple of weeks fuelled by the English tabloid media (as only the English tabloids can do) that alleges Terry had an affair with the ex partner of Bridge, with whom Bridge and said partner have a son. Terry himself is married with twins. While this non-story story remains an allegation, it has had an effect on Terry's career; Fabio Capello stripped Terry of the England captaincy last Friday, and Chelsea have since allowed Terry to go on leave because of the allegations and concomitant media furor.

The ever erudite, eloquent, and quite possibly existential FIFA President Sepp Blatter sagely opined that "Terry would have been 'applauded' in Latin countries." Because, well, we know that Catholics are all about adultery, especially the women who presumably constitute over 50% of the population of said Latin countries. This is the same Blatter who once suggested that women's soccer would be more popular if only it were sexier, advice from the sage that was not well received by its target audience, oddly enough. This is too good to pass up:

"They could, for example, have tighter shorts. Female players are pretty, if you excuse me for saying so, and they already have some different rules to men - such as playing with a lighter ball. That decision was taken to create a more female aesthetic, so why not do it in fashion?"

Whatever, Sepp. When are you going to just go away?

In other random soccer / football news:

My local side Plymouth Argyle are edging closer to certain relegation from the English second-tier. When I arrived in Plymouth too many years ago now, they were enjoying their second promotion season in three years; this will be my first experience of a relegation season. At least the lads still have the fight in them. They'll need it next season when matched against another Devon side, Exeter City, in League 1. And, ah, Millwall. Oh yes, I think I'd rather be in Glasgow during an Old Firm derby than in Plymouth when Millwall come to town.

Speaking of the Old Firm, astonishingly Celtic managed to score goals while at the same time keeping a clean sheet, against Hearts no less, which usually secures three points (but with this Celtic side, I don't assume anything.)

On the same night, Rangers dropped points, narrowing the gap at the top of the table to a mere eight points. There's hope for Mowbray and the Bhoys yet, but don't get too excited, Marc-Antoine. I sure as hell can't. An eight point gap in mid February is not quite Everest or K-2, but it is an uphill slog, made more difficult with half the squad now playing for Middlesbrough.

I know it's difficult to get excited about the SPL, especially when we're eight points down, but I'm trying to have some faith. I certainly have more faith in Celtic's chances than President Obama's chances at reaching a bi-partisan agreement for Health Care Reform that includes the word "reform".